


All I Wanna Do

by dimpled_halo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Happy Ending, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson Break Up, Hiatus, Jealous Harry, M/M, No Smut, OT4, Pining, Post-Hiatus, no baby drama though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 06:15:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6599998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimpled_halo/pseuds/dimpled_halo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That’s perfect!” Harry tells him clapping his hands together, “How about I meet you at your place?”</p><p>Well this is awkward.  Louis had originally kept the house they lived in, but since the break, Louis has moved into a flat overlooking the London city skyline and sold their old place.  </p><p>“Yea, sure,” he says, “I’ll text you the address.”</p><p>After Harry gives him a questioning look, his eyes furrowed like a grumpy kitten he goes on to explain, “I sold the house,” is all he tells him.</p><p>Harry nods in response, “Oh...well alright.  I’ll see you tonight then.”  He waves at Louis before turning around to find his car in the parking lot.</p><p>Louis lets out a deep sigh.  That was rough, so much for not having an awkward encounter with Harry.</p><p>Or: After they decide to break up, Harry and Louis spend the hiatus apart.  A year later, the band reunites to start working on their new album.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Wanna Do

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is pretty much the result of too much drinking and listening to [Troye Sivan's "Talk Me Down"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo3lxS-6joY) on repeat. That's actually where the title comes from. About 70% of this fic was written while I was intoxicated, oops!
> 
> Thanks so much to [Kera](https://allthelarryfics.tumblr.com) , [Tin](https://silentlarryshipper.tumblr.com), and [KK](https://waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee.tumblr.com) for all your help and imput!

It’s been a year, 3 months, 23 days, 14 hours and 42 minutes since Louis last saw Harry.  As soon as the hiatus began, they broke the news to Niall and Liam that they had in fact been broken up since Zayn left the band.  Harry and Louis had agreed to not say anything until the break because they didn’t want to add any more stress to what was already going on around them.  

Having Zayn leave the band was one of the hardest things they’ve ever had to go through.  Not because he was leaving, they had already known for a while that he was going to, but the way he left.  They had originally agreed that Zayn would leave after the first leg of the tour, and the rest of the boys would continue on to do Europe and the rest of the shows.  However, out of nowhere, all they got was a text from Zayn saying he couldn’t do it anymore, leaving them out in the cold, to deal with all the mess.  

At this point Harry and Louis’ relationship was already on the rocks. After nearly five years of being together, being on tour non stop for the past five years, as well as almost five consecutive albums, their relationship had begun to take its toll.  Before Zayn quit, they were barely hanging on by a thread.  It seemed that Zayn's sudden departure was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

After agreeing to not tell the others until their official break began, Louis started to go out more.  Of course, their team took advantage of that fact, wasting no time in calling the paps every chance they got, and they began to build this “party boy” Louis image, that the media ate up.  Louis found comfort in Liam, who many times accompanied him out to the clubs.  He’d use their team as the excuse for going out so much without Harry, which Liam easily believed.  Liam and Niall were both equally oblivious to him and Harry’s relationship troubles, having their own stress and troubles to deal with.

Liam was having his own relationship problems with Sophia, and Niall, well Niall was pretty much the only lucky bastard that didn’t have any type of scandals in the media.  Either way, Zayn leaving hit him pretty hard and for the first few weeks after his departure he kept to himself a lot, often spending time alone with his guitar most likely writing tunes for their next album.

The next album.  Before Harry and Louis broke up Louis had written quite a few songs inspired by his now ex, but in the spirit of pretending they were okay, he presented them anyway, and of course, the song that meant the most to him was used.  His ode to finding his home in Harry was used as one of the songs that they’d be recording.  Louis took it all in stride and with all the clubbing and going out, he was able to numb a lot of his feelings about everything having to do with Harry until they were finally able to come clean about the status of their relationship.

The guys were supportive and no doubt shocked to hear the news, but they wished them nothing but happiness.  Harry moved all of his stuff out of the home they shared and booked a one way ticket to God knows where. Louis hasn’t heard from him since.  Louis, well, Louis was a complete and utter mess the first six months of their hiatus.  He spent a lot of those months wallowing in his own pain, everything hitting him all at once.  All the feelings he had repressed during tour, came out in full force, making him never want to get out of bed.  He’d spend his days sleeping and his nights out with the lads getting drunk and trying to forget.  

After weeks of avoiding Liam’s calls, he showed up on his doorstep one day with Niall doing a mini intervention on him.  The three of them did a “lads’ holiday” as Niall called it and they went to the Bahamas, spending two weeks basking in the sun and enjoying the white sandy beaches and crystal clear blue water.  He got to enjoy as many fruity drinks as he wanted, and he even let himself check out the cute waiter that brought over his drinks.  However, his mind wouldn’t stop comparing him to Harry, so he stopped himself from checking anyone else out after that.

On the night before they were to head back home, the guys decided to go out to the club near their hotel.   After having some drinks and letting loose a little bit, a guy approached him as he was getting another drink from the bar.  This guy was taller than him, he had wavy brown hair that barely reached his shoulders, his eyes were blue just like the ocean, and he sported some really short black shorts that left very little to the imagination along with a red hawaiian shirt with blue flowers scattered about.

 

“Hi, I’m Gary,” he says extending out his hand, carrying what looks like an appletini in the other.

 

Louis can’t help but blush, but he’s sure the darkness of the club hides it, “Louis,” he tells him shaking his hand.

They spend the evening dancing the night away, and as the night comes to an end Louis finds himself laughing a lot.  He’s really enjoying his time with Gary.  Gary who’s a real estate agent from Chicago and is here on holiday with his friends and has no idea who Louis is.  Louis decides he doesn’t want to be Louis Tomlinson from One Direction tonight, so he tells Gary he’s a teacher from London.  Louis knows he’ll never see Gary after tonight, so he throws all caution to the wind.  He ends up in the bathroom of the club exchanging quick handjobs and dirty kisses in one of the stalls.  Louis ends up having one of the best nights of his life since his breakup with Harry.   He considers it a win.

After that, it becomes easier to live in a world where Harry Styles isn’t his to have.  After a few more months, he goes on a few dates here and there, but it never becomes anything serious.  Louis decides he doesn’t want a relationship right now, and enjoys his single life.  He gets a tattoo, a small white dove, to signify his release out into the real world, without Harry.  Harry is all he’d known before they ever truly made it as a band, and Louis feels good knowing that he can make it on his own as well.

Here Louis is now, on his way to their first label meeting since the hiatus began, all four of them will be in the same room for the first time in over a year.  Louis feels excited and a little nervous, not really knowing what to expect from his first encounter with Harry.  He’s sure they’ll act professional, putting their past behind them, since it has been a long time and they’ve both had time to heal and move on.  

Louis steps into the glass lift, pushing the button for the fifteenth floor, sending a quick confirmation text to Damian, his date tonight with some last minute details.  When he gets to the conference room, it’s dimly lit, with most of the light coming from the big floor to ceiling windows that cover the entire side of the wall.  He finds Liam and Niall already seated waiting for people to arrive.   Niall is playing on his phone, while Liam is sitting there with his hands folded atop the table twiddling his thumbs, looking bored.  When they see Louis enter, both of their faces immediately light up each getting up from their seats to greet their bandmate.

“Hey mate,” Liam greets, embracing him in a hug and kissing him on the cheek, Louis returns the kiss.

“Hey Li,” he murmurs patting him on the back.  He follows the same gestures with Niall and then takes a seat between them.

“So are we ready to get this show on the road?” He asks them looking around the empty room.

“Almost, just waiting for Harry, and the label guys,” Liam informs him checking his watch, “We still have a few more minutes.”

Louis nods, and leans back on his chair, propping his feet on the conference table.  Having a deal with Vans has its perks of getting first dibs on the newest styles.  Today he dons his flowered  [ Digi Aloha slip ons ](http://www.vans.com/shop/mens-shoes-classics/digi-aloha-slip-on-black-true-white) with his black skinny jeans, and a plain black t-shirt with his denim long sleeve over it.  

“Sick shoes,” Niall tells him.

Lous taps his foot against the other, “Thanks man.”

As soon as he hears people coming in, he immediately removes his feet from the table, not wanting to make a bad impression on the new label they signed with right before the break.  Louis remains frozen in place when he sees who enters the room.

Harry Styles will never seize to take Louis’ breath away.  He’s wearing black and white striped skinnies, with a white t-shirt that is pretty much see through, and a studded black and red leather  [ jacket ](http://www.ysl.com/us/shop-product/men/ready-to-wear-leather-jacket-motorcycle-degrade-sunset-jacket-in-black-multicolor-and-silver-leather_cod34605814ss.html#section=men_rtw) .  Matching leather YSL boots adorn his feet and his hair is down, his curls bouncing around his face without any hair product.  He looks just heavenly, and Louis forgets to breathe for a moment.

“Hello,” he greets them, shaking Louis out of his sinful thoughts.  They all get out of their chairs to greet him with a hug just like the guys did with Louis.  When it’s Louis’ turn to hug Harry, he can’t help but breathe him in to see if his senses still remember the familiar scent.  They do.

“How’ve you been?” Louis asks him as he shuffles back into his seat.

Harry smiles, that dimpled smile Louis absolutely melts for, “I’ve been good, just landed actually, came straight here,” he tells him.

“Where did you fly in from?” Liam asks taking the words out of Louis’ mouth.

“Barcelona,” Harry answers, “Was there for the past few weeks,” he says lifting his hand to move a strand of hair behind his ear.  Louis notices a silver coin bracelet adorning his wrist as he does so.  His skin looks perfectly tanned, and his hair looks lighter than the last time he saw him.

“That’s great,” Louis mutters.  

Before they could continue on their conversation, the label executives enter the room and their meeting begins.

After what feels like days, their meeting finally comes to an end.  They decided they’ll begin writing and recording for their new album in just a few weeks.  The announcement for the new album and tour coming just a month from Friday.  Louis is looking forward to touring again, and cannot wait to see the fan reactions when they find out they’ll be coming back.  He knows a lot of them were worried they wouldn’t be returning, and Louis can’t wait to shove it in the media’s and their old label’s faces that they’re coming back, bigger and stronger than ever.  They’ve already started to drop subtle hints on twitter and other social media platforms, causing the fans to talk and speculate about their return.

All the guys seemed to share the same excitement as Louis, and he feels that with the amount of rest they got, they’ll be more than ready to pull off a new album in no time.  

As Louis makes his way back to his car he’s stopped by the calling of his name.

“Louis!” he hears Harry calling him.  Louis stops and waits for Harry to catch up to him.

“What’s up Haz?” he asks.  Louis was right, their reunion was very amicable and professional, and he couldn’t be more grateful.  He would’ve hated to have an awkward encounter filled with tension at their first post hiatus meeting with their label.

Harry’s a bit out of breath when he gets to Louis, “Hey.” he says.

“Hey,” he answers.  His phone vibrates in his hand, no doubt a text from Damian.

“Um so I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?” Harry asks, his face looks a little flushed, but Louis guesses it’s from him running over to catch him before he left.  He’s biting his bottom lip in that way that used to drive him crazy and he’s pretty sure Harry knows it too.

He looks at the time on his phone to give himself time to respond, “Actually I’ve got plans,” he says regretfully.  He sort of wishes he didn’t have them as he’d love to catch up with Harry and find out what he’s been up to this past year.

Harry’s face falls a little, but he quickly recovers, “Oh okay,” he says, his face then immediately lights up again, “How about after?  How long do you think you’ll take?”

Louis thinks about it for a moment.  He has plans to meet up with Damian for dinner at his place, he was actually going to cook for him.  Yes, one of the things he learned how to do during the hiatus was cook, he can make a pretty mean chicken piccata if he says so himself.  

“Well I should be done maybe around 9ish?” he says, “Does that work?”

“That’s perfect!” Harry tells him clapping his hands together, “How about I meet you at your place?”

Well this is awkward.  Louis had originally kept the house they lived in, but since the break, Louis has moved into a flat overlooking the London city skyline and sold their old place.  

“Yea, sure,” he says, “I’ll text you the address.”

After Harry gives him a questioning look, his eyes furrowed like a grumpy kitten he goes on to explain, “I sold the house,” is all he tells him.

Harry nods in response, “Oh...well alright.  I’ll see you tonight then.”  He waves at Louis before turning around to find his car in the parking lot.

Louis lets out a deep sigh.  That was rough, so much for not having an awkward encounter with Harry.

 

✦✦✦

  
  


Harry will never admit that he spent two hours getting ready for his...whatever this is with Louis.  After multiple outfit changes, he finally decided on a red  [ Gucci embroidered shirt  ](https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/mens-ready-to-wear/mens-dress-shirts-sports-shirts/embroidered-lace-shirt-p-399077Z406A6409?position=49&listName=ProductGridWComponent&categoryPath=Men/Mens-Ready-To-Wear/Mens-Dress-Shirts-Sports-Shirts) with white skinnies and black YSL boots.  He decided to put his hair up in a bun, letting some stray hairs loose, and even went for some tinted lip balm to make his lips really pop.  Some might think he’s getting ready for a date, but Harry would just brush it off and say he’s just catching up with his best friend who just so happens to be his ex boyfriend.  He might forget to mention that at one point he even thought said friend was the love of his life, but that’s neither here nor there.

He gets to Louis’ flat after a few misguided directions by his stupid gps.  After the doorman gives him instructions on how to get up to Louis’ floor, he's in the lift, heart suddenly racing at an alarming rate.  He curses his own body for the responses it has.  He doesn't think he has anything to worry about.  It's just Louis after all.

He takes a deep breath right before the elevator approaches the final floor.  He stands outside the door for a few more minutes trying to calm his nerves before he knocks on the door.  Just as he has his fist lifted to begin knocking the door swings open.  Harry can't help the gasp he lets out when he sees what’s in front of him.

Louis has some guy all over him.  And kissing him.  In the mouth.  With tongue.  When Louis finally realizes Harry is there to witness the whole exchange he quickly pulls away from the guy who looks a bit taken aback.

“Oh hey Harold!” Louis exclaims a bit exaggerated waving his arms animatedly.

The guy that Louis had attached to his face finally lets Louis have his space and looks at Harry, his face immediately turns into a scowl.

“Who's this?” he asks Louis.

“Damian, this is Harry my band mate and friend, Harry this is Damian,” Louis gestures to the guy, Damian.

“Hey,” Harry nods at Damian, his lips pursed tightly.  He knows he doesn't have a right to be upset.  He knows it, but he still can't help the way his stomach churns in anger upon seeing the two all coupley.  Harry does his best to look neutral, even though he'd much rather return the scowl Damian is giving him.

“Is he the reason why I can't stay over tonight?”  Damian asks.

Louis’ eyes nearly come out of his head, “No Damian that's not why, now if you could please get going, I'll call you, okay?”

“Fine,”  Damian relents, but before he leaves he makes sure to give Harry a show by taking Louis in his arms one last time and sucking his face.  Harry rolls his eyes knowing full well they're both too busy to notice.

“It was nice meeting you,”  Harry mumbles and all he gets in return is a dirty look.  Whatever.

Harry enters Louis’ flat once Damian leaves.  He looks around curiously, still not being able to believe that Louis has a new home.  Harry knows that he’s probably crazy to think that Louis would have kept their old home, you know, the home they built together four years ago.  It was one of their first big purchases they made once One Direction really made it.  He remembers how excited they were to have their own house, five bedrooms and four baths.  Back then they thought they’d plan ahead for the future for someday maybe whenever they decided to start a family.  Harry lets out a breathy chuckle at the thought of how naive and young they were back then, thinking so far ahead of themselves.  

He takes in the flat, there’s a pretty massive flat screen in the lounge area.  Louis even got new furniture, having dark grey sofas, and chrome colored end and coffee tables.  The dining room is full of cherry red wood furniture, with a decorative fruit bowl in the middle.  The kitchen is a good size, white marble fill the counters, with dark grey cabinets and chrome handles, including a pretty neat island in the middle of it all.  Harry isn’t affected at all by all of this, he tells himself like a mantra on repeat in his mind.  

He suddenly wonders what he’s doing here.  He knows why he had asked to meet with Louis to begin with, but now, after seeing how Louis has obviously moved on, Harry can’t help but feel like a fool for even thinking he might even consider getting back together.

Yes, that’s right.  Harry Styles, was planning on grovelling and asking Louis to get back together.  The time spent apart from Louis was good at first, for Harry.  He felt free, and happy, and he loved being able to travel the world.  He spent the hiatus traveling through places like Thailand, Japan, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Iceland, and ending it all in Barcelona.  

At first, Harry felt liberated and glad to be on his own in the real world, being able to finally stop in each country and really explore each city the way he wasn’t able to do when he had stopped by in the past while on tour.  It wasn’t long before he realized that he’d be enjoying everything so much more with Louis by his side.  Harry had a sort of epiphany while sunbathing in Thailand midway through the break.  He was minding his own business taking a sip of his Thai Iced Tea, when it suddenly hit him.  Harry was single for the first time in five years, and he was on holiday by himself.  All of a sudden he felt so alone, wanting nothing more than being able to turn to Louis and talk about his favorite parts of his visit to all the foreign countries he’s visited so far.

Harry spent the next few months in denial, thinking that he was just missing his best friend.  He eventually flew in his family to spend the rest of his break with them so that he wouldn’t feel so alone.  It didn’t help.  If anything it made him miss Louis even more.  Every time something funny would happen he couldn’t help but look over to where Louis would usually be to laugh along with him at whatever funny thing was happening.  

Towards the end of his trip to Barcelona, Harry decided that he would talk to Louis so they could reevaluate their relationship status and perhaps reconsider a reconciliation.  Little did he know, Louis would be on a whole different page, which is something Harry hadn’t even considered.  Harry now feels kind of silly, thinking Louis would also feel as miserable as him during the break.  

The break has obviously done wonders to Louis.  He’s let his facial hair grow out, and his hair is shaggy in all the right places.  Not to mention how perfectly sunkissed his skin is.  If Harry could have one wish, it would be to turn back time, to when they both decided to end their relationship.  He would knock some sense into him and Louis, and fight harder for what they had, because what they had, well it was beautiful.  And now here he is, watching the love of his life date someone else, in a home that has no traces of what they used to be.

“Would you like something to eat?” Louis offers, making Harry stop his walk down memory lane.

“What do you have?” he asks.  He’s not hungry necessarily, but he is just trying to make conversation.

“I made seafood alfredo,” Louis says.

“You made it?” Harry asks, not being able to contain the surprise in his tone.  Because what the fuck?  Since when does Louis cook?  Harry was always the one that cooked back when they were together.  Only on special occasions would Louis attempt to make him breakfast in bed, and many times Harry would find himself lying to Louis about how delicious his french toast were even though they tasted like charcoal.

“I made it,” Louis says matter of factly.  His face lights up, “I learned how to cook during the break.  Took cooking classes and everything,” he admits looking down at his feet, bashful at his admittance.

“Let’s have some then,” Harry says.  He might not be hungry, but he won’t turn down the opportunity to taste some of Louis’ home cooking.  And he sure as hell won’t let Damian be the only one Louis cooks for.

Louis makes him a plate and warms it up in the microwave along with a couple of pieces of garlic bread.  He also pours him a glass of red wine, which Harry takes gladly, quickly taking two big gulps.

“So how are you?” Louis asks him as Harry takes a third sip.

Harry places his glass on the island.  “I’m doing well,  probably not as well as you’ve been doing,” he can’t help but sound snarky as he talks.  He just can’t.

Louis furrows his eyebrows, “Okay?” he says confused.  The microwave beeps and Louis retrieves the plate of food, placing it in front of Harry.  Harry digs in.  It’s fucking delicious.  He isn’t just thinking this because it’s Louis, but it’s almost better than Harry’s seafood alfredo.  Harry must have been hungry after all, because he inhales his plate in a matter of minutes, washing it down with the rest of his wine.

Louis pours him another glass, “Would you like more pasta?”

Harry shakes his head, a bit embarrassed at how quickly he ate his food.  

“So tell me,” he begins, “What else have you learned to do during the break?”

Louis is silent for a moment, bringing his index finger to his lips in thought.  “Well, I also took up gardening,” he says.

“What?”  Harry is baffled.

“Yea, I don’t have the biggest garden, but I grow my own tomatoes, parsley, and peppers,” he admits, his cheeks pinking up.

“That’s great,” Harry tries to sound happy for him, even though he’s dying a little more inside.  Don’t get him wrong, he’s so happy that Louis has done so much during the break.  But he accomplished all these things without Harry, and he can’t help but feel a bit bitter about that.  Harry would have given anything to be Louis’ partner during the cooking classes, or be there to spend their Saturday afternoons gardening, making sure their vegetables were watered and growing properly.  

“So what brings you here tonight?” Louis asks crossing his arms across his chest.  He doesn’t look mad or anything, just genuinely curious about Harry’s intentions.

“Well,” Harry begins before deciding to take another sip of his wine, “I just wanted to catch up I guess,” he lies.  He doesn’t think telling Louis his real intentions is a good idea.  At least not yet.  

Louis is watching him carefully as he continues drinking his wine.  He’s giving him a look Harry can’t quite decipher, his eyes are dark and his mouth is formed in a thin line.  He’s not smiling, but he also doesn’t look upset or angry.  He must suspect Harry is full of shit, but is letting him get away with it for now.

“How was the traveling?” Louis asks him, topping off his glass again.  He seems to be doing it subconsciously, to keep his hands occupied while he talks to him, which Harry can’t blame him for.  He also couldn’t be more grateful for the liquid courage if he’s honest.

“It was good,” he answers.

“Really?  That’s all you’re gonna say about travelling for the past year?  That it was good?”  Louis asks, “When we used to visit different countries on tour we couldn’t get you to shut up about the places we got to see when we actually had the time.  Now that you actually had time to explore, all you have to say is that it was good?”

Harry’s face heats up, no doubt his cheeks have reddened, the wine helping accomplish that along with his embarrassment.  Louis is right, of course.

“Okay fine,”  Harry says gulping down the rest of his wine.  He feels a bit dizzy, but he doesn’t care, the buzz building up in his body feels good, and will help him say what he needs to say.  “I had a miserable bloody time, is that what you want to hear?”

Louis looks affronted, “What?”

“I thought traveling would make me happy, and help me move on with my life.  Turns out it actually made me realize how lonely I am, and how much I took you for granted when I had you.”  He admits.  He isn’t looking at Louis in the eye, he feels he’s embarrassed himself enough as it is.

Louis looks frozen.  His eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly parted, as if he was about to say something and just stopped.  “I don’t understand,” he finally says, “you’re the one that wanted us to be on our own.  You said you felt like you needed to see who you were without me.  And now you’re telling me that you took me for granted?”  Louis doesn’t sound like he’s accusing him, he’s more just repeating what Harry said to make sense of what he’s trying to say.

“Look, I think we made a mistake breaking up back then.  I think we just gave up too easily when things got difficult,” Harry says.

Silence fills the space around them.  Harry is still sitting by the kitchen island, he’s playing with the rings on his fingers trying to avoid Louis’ gaze.  Louis is just standing his arms still crossed, but Harry isn’t sure what he’s doing.

After a few more minutes of silence, Harry suddenly jerks at the sound coming from Louis.  He’s laughing.  Not just any laugh though, his whole body is convulsing in amusement.  His eyes are tearing up and he’s hunched over, putting an arm against his stomach and cackling loud.

“What’s so funny?” Harry asks, he can’t help but giggle at the way Louis is laughing.  Louis is a beautiful man, but seeing the way his eyes crinkle is one of Harry’s favorite things.  Not to mention that if he could record Louis’ laughter he’d listen to it for hours on end.

Louis wipes the tears from his eyes with his forearm and catches his breath.  After a while, he’s finally settled down and Harry is still waiting patiently to hear what he found so humorous.

“I’m sorry,” Louis begins still trying to breathe normally, “I’m just...fuck.  We broke up because you wanted to be on your own.  I didn’t want to break up, I wanted to fight for us, but you didn’t really give me a choice, and I also gave up pretty quickly.  I didn’t see why we needed to break up.  But then, after a few miserable months without you, I saw what you were talking about.  I was able to be on my own, be Louis Tomlinson.  Not Louis Tomlinson from One Direction, or Harry’s boyfriend, I got to find myself and get to really know who I am.  I did what I didn’t even think would be possible, I learned to move on without you.  And now,” Louis says letting out another laugh, “Now you’re telling me, that you were wrong.  But I’m telling you that you were right.”

Harry’s heart sinks.  His face falls, and his eyes burn.  What was he thinking?  The reality hits him even more now with Louis’ words.  There’s no way to turn back time and change things, and it turns out Louis has become a better person since their split, and Harry, well Harry just feels miserable.  Not because Louis has moved on, but because he’d like to feel the same way Louis does.  He’d like to feel free.  But he doesn’t.  Not without Louis.  Harry’s always been his own person even when he was with Louis.  Louis would bring out the best in him, and he feels that without him he’ll be nothing but a dull shell of a man.

“Alright,” Harry croaks out.  He clears his throat, and stands up, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for not realizing all of this sooner,” he mutters.  He takes one last look at Louis before he turns towards the door, ready to make his exit.

“Hey Harry,” Louis says just as Harry reaches the door.

“Yeah?” Harry turns to look back at Louis.

Louis walks in his direction, his face looks a little sad, maybe it’s regret.  “We’re still friends though, right?”  He asks looking into Harry’s eyes, his eyes look so hopeful that Harry could just curl up into a ball and cry.

Harry forces a smile, “Of course Lou.  Always.”

Louis lips curve up and his eyes crinkle, “Good.”  He smothers Harry into a hug, making him go pliant at the mere touch.  He inhales deep, his senses reminiscing the familiar scent of Louis.  His Louis.

“Bye Lou,” he says.

“Bye Harry.”

And with that, Harry leaves Louis’ flat, somehow more heartbroken than he was a year ago.

 

✦✦✦

 

It’s been two weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, and 11 minutes since Harry has seen Louis.  He isn’t proud to admit that he’s been avoiding him as much as he can, even though they’re all working very hard on the new album.  Somehow he’s managed to be in the studio in times that haven’t coincided with Louis’.  Harry isn’t stupid, he knows eventually he’ll  have to face him, but right now...well right now, he’s trying to move on.  He’s trying to do what Louis was able to accomplish during the break, and Harry admits that it hasn’t been easy.

He spent the first few days wallowing, cancelling plans he had with Nick and Alexa.  Getting out of bed was not an option during that time, and his pillow was his best friend.  Having spent most of his break travelling, Harry hasn’t gotten a new place of his own, so he’s been renting a house for the time being.  It’s nothing too big, just a simple three bedroom, three bathroom home just outside of the city.  

His favorite part of the house, and what made him rent it without question was the garden that contained a brick path that leads to a wooded area full of all sorts of flowers.  Crimson colored roses and beautiful primroses decorate the path along the way.  Harry loves going on walks to meditate and just think, maybe even get a bit of inspiration for the new album since it’s supposed to be what he should be working on.

There’s only so long he could’ve gotten away with ignoring the real world, and eventually Nick ends up dragging him out to some party Radio One is hosting.  He ends up having a good time, taking advantage of the open bar and the sick tunes the DJ is playing.  Just for that moment, he’s able to forget that Louis Tomlinson isn’t his anymore.

Here he is now, managing to get through his day, without thinking of Louis, but it’s a battle he always loses.  He wants to come home to Louis every day for the rest of his life, that’s not something that goes away easily.  He misses holding his hand, the warmth of it, the way it fit perfectly with his.  Most of all though, his whole body misses him.  There’s nights when he’s half asleep and his hand will automatically reach out to what used to be Louis’ side of the bed, only finding that side empty and cold.  Not to mention the fact that Harry has found himself on several occasions cooking too much food for himself, being used to cooking for them all the time.  He has more left overs in his fridge than he can count, and Harry won’t eat them because they're for Louis.

Harry arrives at the studio one Sunday afternoon, almost certain that no one else will be there, so he’ll be able to spend his time working on a couple of songs he’s been writing.  However, when he enters the building he finds Liam and Louis there.  Liam is sitting on the swiveling chair rocking side to side having what looks like an intense conversation, with hand gestures and everything.  Meanwhile Louis is laying on the couch, with his feet propped up and his arms behind his head, facing Liam and nodding along to whatever he’s saying.  His back is facing Harry so he goes unnoticed for a few moments, so he takes advantage of it, drinking in the pure image of Louis.  

He always loved seeing him during his writing process, with his notebook and special pencil he uses with eyebrows furrowed in concentration trying to find the right lyrics that will flow well together.  He’d sometimes ask Harry for suggestions when he was stuck on a particular line and Harry would come from behind, wrap his arms around him, and look over his shoulder at what he had so far.  He’d then kiss him on the head and help him with whatever he needed.  Just the memories alone make Harry’s eyes burn with unshed tears.  He decides he’s still not ready to see Louis yet, so he quickly turns back around before one of them notices his presence and goes back home throwing himself a pity party full of junk food and romantic movies.

 

✦✦✦

 

Louis hasn’t been able to sleep very well for the past couple of weeks, but he will never admit it has anything to do with Harry Styles.  It’s safe to say things with Damian are over.  He’d tried hanging out with him after seeing Harry, but things just felt off.  Not to mention the 21 questions Damian kept throwing at him about Harry, making him feel like he was being interrogated for a crime he didn’t commit.  He decided to end things, to save themselves both trouble.

After that, Louis decided to start doing some writing for the new album.  He’d been so busy finding himself, and moving on by learning how to cook and stuff that he never finished writing one song.  He had a few lines here and there scribbled on his notebook, but nothing really worthy of the Billboard Hot 100.  

He spent a few days here and there with Liam in the studio, but Louis had been so out of it that finally one day Liam confronted him about it.  Louis eventually caved and told Liam everything that happened with Harry last week, telling him he hasn’t really been able to focus since then.

Liam was very supportive, and told him he should spend some time on his own, suggesting going for a walk to meditate and clear his mind and maybe he would even find some inspiration.  Louis did just that.  He drove for hours, listening to all of their discography, trying to find something.  Louis had even read somewhere that driving was good for creative thinking, and well he could use all the help he could get.

Unfortunately his efforts returned no results, and Louis didn’t know what else to do.  He tried listening to new music, watch movies, even stooped down to watching shitty reality television to gain some type of inspiration, but nothing seemed to help.  He wrote a few lines here or there, but they all lead to dead ends.  Frustrated, he tore off the piece of paper from his notebook and balled it up throwing it wherever it would land.  He pulled his hair in frustration, he couldn’t take it anymore.  

Could it be that his one source of inspiration was Harry?  Was it possible that he couldn’t write anything good without his one true love?  

Louis got up from his stool, grabbed his coat and bolted out the door.  He was about to find out.

 

✦✦✦

 

After much nagging, Harry finally gives in to letting Nick set him up on a date with a friend he’d been dying for him to meet.  “You’ll just love him” Nick had said, and Harry just rolled his eyes, because he’s pretty sure he won’t.  

He meets up with Eduardo at Nick’s favorite restaurant, where they’re introduced for the first time.  Nick goes on and on about how Eduardo is from Spain and plays Football for Madrid or something, Harry’s not sure, he was only half paying attention, more interested in his drink.  Harry nods along and smiles politely at Eduardo, who looks like he wants to eat Harry with his eyes, which is already turning him off.  Call Harry old fashioned, but he’d like to be romanced before even considering doing anything physical with someone.

Nick conveniently has something come up that makes him need to leave them alone, Harry glares at him when Eduardo isn’t looking and all Nick does is wink at him, the fucker.  Eduardo is okay for the most part.  They finish their food, and he offers to walk Harry to his car, which he accepts because he doesn’t want to be rude.  When Eduardo goes in for a kiss, Harry quickly turns his cheek, leaving the other guy disappointed, but oh well.  Eduardo tells Harry to call him, which he just nods that he will, but most likely won’t.  He’s just not ready to date yet, or ever he thinks.

Harry stops by the nearest grocery store and stocks up on ice cream, making plans in his mind of what romantic comedies he wants to watch so he can forget this whole night ever happened.  He decides on his favorite, Half Baked Ben and Jerry’s and buys Louis’ favorite, Mint Chocolate Cookie.  Old habits die hard.

He feels as if during the whole break his life was on pause as he traveled the world, and now that he’s back home in the real world, his life has hit play, and he’s just been broken up with.  He’s sure no other person is still pining for their ex after a year, but Harry...well Harry isn't like every other person.

He finally arrives home, unloading his bags from the boot, looking forward to slipping into his sweatpants and favorite torn up t shirt.  He unlocks the door, taking off his shoes as soon as he enters to leave them by the door.  He drops his keys onto the side table and turns on the light.

“Fuck!” Harry startles when he enters the kitchen.  Louis is sitting by the kitchen table, his hands are folded and he’s looking right at him.  “How did you get in here?” He asks, his heart is still racing from the unexpected surprise.

“Shouldn't leave the spare key in the potted plant outside.”  Louis says.

“I didn’t even know there was a spare key inside the plant outside, this is just a rental until I find my own place,” Harry tells him.

Harry places the bags he’s carrying on the kitchen counter and Louis eyes the items inside.  

“Big night ahead of you?” He inquires.

“Oh yea, got a date with Ben and Jerry,” Harry says.

“Didn’t realize you’d become interested in polyamory,” Louis says.

Harry shakes his head smiling, he can’t help it okay?

“Yea...well, you’re not the only one that’s changed during the break,” he can’t help but say.  Maybe he shouldn’t have said that but at this point Harry doesn’t really care what comes out of his mouth.

“Touche.”

Harry shrugs, “So what’s so important you had to break into my house?”

Louis gets up and puts the ice cream away in the freezer.  “Well you see, I’ve been working on writing these past couple of weeks for the new album and I realized something,” he says.

Harry’s confused, and he must show it because Louis chuckles.  “Okay?”

“Yea, so you know better than anyone that to me writing has come so naturally.  I came up with Strong in mere hours, Home was a no brainer, and so it’s always been that way for me.”  He says, “But guess what?”

“What?” Harry echoes.  

“I’ve spent the past few weeks trying to write and I’ve come up with nothing.  Not one thing,” Louis says.

“Nothing?”

“Nope.  And you know why?” Louis asks getting closer to Harry, only inches between them.

“Why?” Harry asks.

“I’ve lost my muse.  I’ve lost the person that inspired me to write,” Louis says matter of factly.

“You have?”

“I’m talking about you, you twat!” Louis exclaims.

“Me?”  Harry asks pointing at himself.

Louis grabs him by the shoulders, looking him in the eye.  His eyes are filled with so much passion, it’s practically seeping out of him.  “Yea you!  It’s because of you I had any reason to write at all.  You….you inspire me to be the best person I could ever be Haz.  Yes, I managed to move on without you and be my own person, but why should that be a reason for us not to be together?  If anything, this should help us not fuck things up again.  Look I’m sorry I didn’t say this earlier, but you kind of caught me off guard, and then after everything you said I needed some time to think about things.  But there’s nothing left to think about.  I want you right now and forever, please.  Let’s just...let’s try this again.  We’ll do things the right way this time.  I won’t give up without a fight.”

Harry is speechless.  His mouth is gaped open and his heart is nearly beating out of his chest.  His face feels hot, no doubt tinged pink.

“Can you say something please?” Louis pleads.

Harry clears his throat, “I...I’m sorry you just caught me completely off guard Lou.”  He says and he’s smiling so big, he feels he could burst with how happy he is.  He takes Louis’ face in his hands and takes in his beautiful eyes, “I love you.  I will always love you, and I want to be with you, today, tomorrow, for the rest of my life, Lou.  There’s no one else for me.  You’re it.”  

Louis releases a breath he must have been holding, and lunges forward to kiss Harry.  It’s hungry and desperate, like coming up for air after being submerged in water.  Harry’s worries wash away with every brush of their lips.  It’s like they're engraving their promises on each other’s lips, vowing to never give up on one another and forever be each other’s home.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [Come say hi!](http://dimpled-halo.tumblr.com)
> 
> Want me to write you your own fic? [Click here](https://comebackassholes.tumblr.com/post/173646347378/fics-and-betaing-for-charity). for more information!


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